lay down and die quietly? No fucking way.

I finally logged onto the Open University student website last night and I found out that my course prep and study guides, etc were posted on the 18th July! Which means I should get them this week. I was really excited about it, just because I’m so eager to get started. But when I start thinking about the course, I have to start thinking of the other stuff, paying for it, having time to study, balancing work/life/school, and wondering if it truly is the only way, the best choice.  But, even after all this I was still pretty positive about it. And I went to bed feeling hopeful, for the first time in awhile.

My job is a stressful one. I work in a growing vet practice and my job is, very simply, debt collection. I am the *unofficial* manager of this side of the business, and everything to do with client finance comes to me. As you can imagine this does not make me popular with some clients, and I’ve had my share of nasty phone calls and threats.  Today, I had two. The first was Mr. S. Mr. S was very very angry that I had sent him an invoice for £9 when he had already paid us £8000.  He assured me that I was “useless”, “offensive”, “insulting” and needed “to go back to school”.  He threatened to complain about me to my boss. (the person I work for, collecting this money…hmmm…)

The second was Mrs. M. Mrs. M was not quite so informative, but she was happy to tell me how she had written a letter to said boss, how unhappy she was with this side of the business, and how angry she was.

And after the second call, (which had me in tears, this is not a great time for repeated blows to my confidence and self esteem) I spoke to David and he told me I had to compartmentalize it, and then delete it. And that kind of snapped me out of it. And I realized that if going to school, and getting this degree will ensure I never have to let people assault me like that again, and if it means my kids have a better chance of never having to put up with it, then I don’t care how much it costs, or how long it takes, or how hard it is. It doesnt matter.  I’m sick of being stepped on, fucked over, belittled, cut down. 

So, fuck you. No, not *you*.  Fuck those people who treat me like I’m nothing. Who think it’s ok to insult me. Who want me to believe that I will never be anything but poor, subserviant, useless. Who look down on me.  I’ve done more in my life than a hell of a lot of people will ever do in theirs, and I’m not done. Not by a mile.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: