Never Wore Flowers In My Hair part 2

Union Square. Possibly my favorite part of San Francisco. It was like a gateway to me, once I was at Union Square, I knew how to get anywhere. I wonder if I’d feel that way now, if I went back there?

I remember the music. Almost every day and night there would be music, it was magical, to me. Buskers, mostly. But occasionally, something great would come along, and they werent just playing for spare pennies.

Sean and I danced one night. In Union Square, while one of those rare and special bands played. I don’t remember their faces, or the instruments or tune they played. But I do know that it was something infectious which just…moved the air and you with it. We danced and we laughed and he held me in his arms under the lights of Macy’s windows. Then someone in the band, the singer I think, looked at Sean and said “She’s a lovely girl, you take care of her.” Sean looked at me and touched my face and promised he would, and I felt for a moment like all was right and perfect with the world and everything in it.

Sean was my 2nd love. He was from Oklahoma, and his parents had property out there and we were going to move there and live in a ranch house and he would get a job in oil and we would be happy. This fantasy spoke loudly to me, and my strange desire for that sort of heartland lifestyle. Sean was sort of broken and messed up and I was stupid and naieve enough to think he needed me and I could fix him.

In the end I didn’t go to Oklahoma and I haven’t seen Sean in almost 15 years. My 14 year old in love self would be devastated by that, but my 29 year old self is glad for it. He was sort of broken and messed up and it turns out, I was too. I never could’ve fixed him. But, I still think of him from time to time. Somewhere I may even still have a photobooth picture of he and I, it would make me smile to see it again, and being a girl, one prone to nostalgia and romance, I wonder if he still has his two from the strip of four we divided between us.


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