Supermarket Fury

Going to the supermarket. Christ, is there anything worse? They just get bigger and bigger and when I finally leave I’ve lost 3 hours and wonder if I’ve been abducted by aliens. I know, I know. I’m lucky to have a supermarket to go to. Nonetheless. I feel like I am there every single day of my godless life. And you can’t just go in and buy the one thing you actually need, or at least I can’t, there are always half a dozen other things. Ooh, that’s on sale! Ooh, that’ll be good for dinner! Ooh, my favorite piece of junk food that is not at all good for me but I like to eat anyway! So, even though all I freaking needed was a loaf of bread that I can buy for 40 pence- I end up leaving with £35 worth of groceries. Granted, I buy a lot of reduced stuff that can be frozen and used for future meals, so I save money in the long run. I’m trying to bring my family round to trying the paleo diet, which I gather is just meat and veg and the money I’d save by shopping at the green grocer and the butcher and never setting foot in a supermarket makes me giddy with possibilities, I might finally be able to fix my sons bike! Lo and behold my family likes their carbs, thank you very much, so I may have to employ the use of stealth when making the switch. Though there is always the possibility of the old “I’m paying for the groceries, if you don’t like what I’m buying, get a job and buy your own.” That tends to stop the whining in it’s tracks…

What annoyed me recently (well, ok, a month ago) at the supermarket was the cashier. Usually they just ring the stuff up and make small talk (occasionally with me, usually with a colleague or the customer in front who won’t pick up their damn bags and GO already) but this one decided she needed to comment about what we were buying. Grrr. We’d gone in for only a few items but I’d come across quite a few sale items, of course. So we had three boxes of ice cream bars at 50 pence each for the kids, an apple tart that I thought would be a nice dessert one night for £1. Two boxes of my favorite cornettos, 2 for £2. And some other bits and bobs. Yes, there was a bit of junk. I joked about it to my husband. Yet this cashier decided she need to tell me all about weight watchers. And how half her grocery shopping is always vegetables. I tried to keep things light, and said something about how it’ll be nice when the kids go back to school and arent clamoring for ice cream all the time. To which she replied “Well that’s when you tell them they can have a piece of fruit!”

Sorry, guys. Kids with fat mommies aren't allowed ice cream!

This annoyed me. I didn’t say anything to her, other than just a “Oh, I do!” but the sheer audacity pissed me off. Why pass judgement on my purchases? I have three slim, healthy, active children. One of which prefers to snack on carrots more than anything else, and two who love salad and always have seconds. They arent allowed to drink soda, fast food is a rare treat and all their regular meals are homemade. They get told “If you’re that hungry, have a carrot or a piece of fruit” six times a day. The only one who eats to much junk in my household is me. And clearly I am an adult and perfectly capable of deciding for myself what and how much I eat. I have one child who hates fruit and veg and would prefer to eat junk all day. I don’t allow this. His favorite breakfast item is cereal, which I rarely buy. He has to eat more healthy food. If he doesnt eat his carrots at dinner, he gets no dessert, etc.

I suppose people just like to feel superior and I shouldn’t be offended, but it seems to illustrate once again that fat people are fair game for ridicule. I know I’m fat, I promise I’m not stupid and I really don’t need a lecture from the cashier on the value of eating vegetables. Neither do I need random people assuming that since I am fat, I am a simpleton incapable of appropriate parenting, especially as how the 6 year old next door is never without a can of coke and a packet of sweets, though his mom is thin as a rail. Shockingly enough, I don’t sit around eating junk and watching daytime telly all day, either.

So what I’d like to say to that cashier is this: “Look bitch, it’s the middle of August, the kids are off school and if I want to give them some damn ice cream, I will. And, by virtue of not being stupid, I know exactly how to lose weight when and if I choose to, so I really don’t need you to lecture me about weight watchers and fucking vegetables.”

Current Obsessions

So, my current foody obsessions are

Keeping with a theme, Cherry jaffa cakes. These are crazy addictive. 22 in a box, and it takes me about the same amount of minutes to get through a box. I stumbled upon them looking for cheap easter treats in Lidl but apparently they can also be found in the Polish section of Sainsburys or Morrisons. My cherry obsession is still going strong!

Smirnoff Green Apple Vodka- I have seen it compared to sour apple jolly ranchers and that is exactly what it’s like. A double with lemonade and ice, please! At £14 a bottle though, it’s not exactly cheap. D1 bought me a bottle about a month ago that I’m being very good about not drinking!

Asda Extra Special Belgian Chocolate Cookies and Slow baked Fruit and Oat Cookies I especially like how the chocolate cookies go soft, though not stale, after being left open overnight, perfect!

Rakusens Herb and Onion crackers. I’m eating a lot of junk recently, so I’ve been trying to offset that by exercising, eating more fruit, and replacing staples like bread with other options, these whole wheat crackers are great for tuna!

Whittards of Chelsea Turkish Apple Tea Ok, admittedly I’m taking to this one a bit slowly. But, I’m not a big tea drinker so I’m giving it time to grow on me. My favorite thing about this “tea” is that it has a really nice sweet flavour, without any artificial sweeteners or junk added to it. I recognise and can pronounce everything on the ingredients list, which I can’t say for most of the other beverages in this country. It’s a comforting hot drink and a refreshing ice cold drink. It’s helping me drink more water and fight off chronic dehydration, and that’s a good thing!

Day 18

After initially losing 10 pounds in the first week and a half of the diet I didn’t lose anymore weight.  I was walking and working my arms and my legs and sticking to my diet. There have been days which I’ve gone over 500 calories, so I accept my body has probably not properly been into ketosis for very long, but I’ve accepted that. Nonetheless,  I should have been losing weight.

I decided a few days ago that I was not exercising enough. (It was either that or I was having cheeseburgers for lunch behind my back)  Or, I was exercising but it would be considered “light” exercise.  I needed to do more to really get my body to start using up those fat stores. So, I started using the treadmill.  I spend between 20-30 minutes a day on it and walk at an avg. speed of 5.5 Kph, with an elevation of 3.5%.  This really gets my heart rate up and burns calories.  I hope to increase the pace over time.

This seems to have been the right thing to do as I have lost another 2 pounds over the few days since Monday. This has given me that boost I needed to keep on going. I hadn’t yet considered giving up, but it had occured to me that I just wasn’t going to lose anymore weight, I was destined to be fat, etc.

I’ve had some very nice comments about how much weight I’ve lost, but I have trouble accepting compliments and I just think “It’s only ten pounds, I wish they wouldn’t lavish me with praise, I’m not a child, and I’m still fat, so why the fuss, do they really mean it or are they just mocking me?” I know they’re just being nice, and maybe trying to encourage me- but I still have to force myself to smile and say thank you.

Had a really rough day yesterday, which culminated  with me in Asda, buying a candy bar. Which I ate.  But I burned about 400 calories yesterday, and ate less than 500, so I think I can live with it.